Catch Me When I Fall
by MissDevon
Summary: Sequel to "On The Ledge," John and Natalie have to decided to try to build a life together outside of Landview, but with all their baggage and the expectations of others, is it really possible?


_**Catch Me When I Fall**_

_Sequel to On the Ledge_

By popular demand I have decided to do a sequel to "On the Ledge," I can only hope that it will live up to expectations. Also, since some expressed that they were sorry that for Jolie to have a happy ending they needed to 'ride off into the sunset' I've decided to have John's job offer come from someone a stone's throw away from Landview, and who could give Natalie the help she needs to eventually regain BE. But, the later won't happen for a while. The focus will be on John and Natalie.

Enjoy,

MissDevon

_Chapter 1_

John smiled at Natalie as he stopped at the door to his room at the Angel Square Motel. "I'll grab my bag and your things and then meet you downstairs at the car, OK?" he asked as he handed her the keys he had fished out of this pocket.

Swallowing back a mixture of fear and insecurity, Natalie forced a smile as she took the keys: "I still can't believe you kept my things."

"Yeah, well, it seems that it'll come in handy till I figure out a way to get your other things. Maybe Antonio or Talia?" he suggested as he ran a hand down her arm.

"Yeah. Jared would love that. Not to mention my mom. You know what the reaction would be if Antonio showed up at Llanfair to get the rest of my things? Or Talia for that matter? 'So insensitive to Jessica's feelings,'" she replied tiredly.

"You still have stuff at Llanfair?" John asked, a bit surprised since earlier she had commented that all of her stuff was at the room she shared with Jared.

"Yeah. Can't get it when Jessica's there and she's _always_ there," Natalie replied with a shrug. "Have to respect her wishes."

"I'll figure something out."

"You don't have. . ."

"I want to. Besides they can't keep your stuff if you want it."

"And what am I going to do? Get a court order? From who, Nora would find someway to block it anyway. Or have some loophole thrown in to make sure that I couldn't get it or to make it extremely difficult and uncomfortable for me to," Natalie pointed out. "Hell, I knocked Lindsey out of first position on her hit list."

John shook his head: "Like I said, we'll figure something out. Go on down to the car, I'll meet you in a couple of minutes," he said as he leaned in to kiss her.

Pulling back from the soft kiss, Natalie smiled: "this is real, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," he replied as he smiled at her and ran a hand over her cheek. "Go on so we can get on the road."

"I'm afraid if I leave your side I'll wake up and all of this will have been a dream," she admitted as she reached out to take his hand. "This is the first time in I don't know how long I've had hope. Something to. . ."

"Hey," he stopped her, a touch of worry in his voice: "it's OK, but please, no more talk like that. It scares me. Makes me think of how I found you on the roof," he elaborated as he took her hand in his and linked their fingers, staring at it he continued: "I don't want to think about it. What might have happened if I hadn't of gone up there just then. Of going out to my car and finding you. . ." his voice cracked.

Swallowing back tears Natalie reached out and touched his face, silently urging him to look at her: "if it's any consolation I don't think I actually would have done it. Not from there anyway. You are the last person I would've wanted to find me that way."

John turned his head slightly and kissed her hand: "I came back for you, Natalie. I need you to stay for me."

"I'll try," Natalie said shakily.

Reaching up, John took her hand in his: "Not just try, Natalie. I just can't. . . I don't know how you. . ." he exhaled and forced a smirk to cross his face as he kissed her palm before letting it drop to her side: "you've always been the stronger one."

"But I still need you to rescue me, sometimes from myself most of all," she admitted on a barely audible whisper.

Closing his eyes against the feelings those few words evoked, John let out a breathe: "go on down to the car. Rest a bit."

"I can't sleep. Haven't slept well since. . ." she started, a shudder running through her body at the images that haunted her dreams. The accusations and voices that echoed through her mind.

"That will change. I'll chase away the ghosts."

Smiling slightly, Natalie nodded: "you got good at that over time didn't you?"

Pushing a piece of hair away from her face he took in the bags under her eyes and the haunted look they held and he had ignored. _It's the lighting down here. That's why you didn't notice it on the roof,_ he tried to convince himself as he replied simply: "the nightmares decreased over time, for both of us, didn't they?"

"But you conquered your ghosts. I added more."

Unsure what to say to that he leaned in and kissed her again: "go on. I'll be down in a little while," he whispered to her before kissing her again.

Unable to resist, Natalie melting into the kiss. Pulling away when the need for air became urgent, she smiled tiredly and reached out to wipe his lips with a finger: "don't take too long."

"I won't," he promised as he let his arms fall down to his sides and forced himself to allow her to walk away and towards the door to the hotel, reminding himself that he had to let her go for the next few minutes.

"What the hell are you doing?" a voice asked on a loud whisper.

Cursing under his breath, John turned towards his brother's room and glared at Michael: "Mind your own damned business, Mike."

"John, com'on. Don't tell me you're going to let yourself get caught up in her again," his brother grumbled as he crossed the couple of feet that separated them. "You and Marty are solid."

"She's dying."

"Miracles happen, John," Michael said as he put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You can't just hop back into Natalie's bed because you're afraid that you're going to loose Marty."

Shrugging off his brother's hand and his concern, John went to open his door: "you have no idea what you're talking about, Mikey. I'm starting to think you never did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When did you stop caring about Natalie? When the hell did you turn on her and why?"

"I'm worried about _you._ Frankly I don't care what Natalie does, but if it means you're going to get hurt again. . ."

"It's my life. Not yours. What makes you think you have any say in it?"

"You're not thinking straight right now, John. She gets you turned all inside out. You never think straight where she's concerned."

Shaking his head he looked at Michael: "is it me who has their head turned inside out or you? You used to be her friend. She was Tommy's godmother. She was going to be my wife."

"You never asked her. . ."

"On whose advice?"

"So, you're what? Blaming _me_ now for a choice _you_ made?" Michael asked indignantly.

"No. I just wonder what changed."

Michael turned his head and then looked back at his brother: "she knew and I didn't."

"What?"

"She never believed it was you. Not really. Not deep down. She went through the motions. Said the right things, but there was always something in her eyes. It was the way she'd look at Mom's ring. The way she'd look through me. . . And then that day, I was ready to call psych for an eval on her. But she was right, John. _She was right._ And there I was. I had identified that body. I worked on Hugh's case.  
I didn't catch it  
Vincent did.  
She did.  
You have any idea what that was like?  
On the one hand I was ecstatic. On the other I couldn't believe I had made such a mistake. And the more I watched her with you. . . the more. . .

I was drowning, John.  
In the Truman case.  
With Tommy.

And every time I looked at her I felt more and more guilty.

Guilty because I identified the body as you and it wasn't.  
Guilty because I let Marci talk Mom into giving her the ring and I saw afterwards how it added to her sadness instead of easing it, the way I made myself believe it would.  
Guilty because every time I saw her with Tommy I knew it was a mistake.  
That I was doing to him what Mitch had done to her and I couldn't stand it!" he admitted, letting all the reasons he had turned on her come out. "When you two broke up and Marci grabbed onto the idea of you and Marty it was so easy to go along. I didn't have to face the guilt. Didn't have to think about how she lost her career because she was trying to protect us. Didn't have to worry about putting her in the middle of what would happen when Todd found out."

John shook his head as he allowed his brother's confession to sink in: "I had no idea."

Michael laughed slightly: "until now, neither did I," turning to go back to his room he looked back over his shoulder at his older brother, exhaustion creeping into his features: "you two were good together once. If that's what you want, I hope you find a way to be again. But it won't be easy. Not here. Not with the whole town against you. Waiting for you and Marty to. . ." he stopped. "You have a choice to make, John. I just hope you do the right thing," he finished before going into his room and closing the door.

Shaking his head John turned to enter his room: "the question is who do I do the right thing for?" he muttered as he entered the room and closed the door as quietly as possible. He knew Marty would be sleeping, and he didn't want to wake her.

To face her and her hopes and expectations; especially not when he knew he could never meet them.


End file.
